[ yoru doesn’t say he tried to lose hwylryn in the only way he knew how because otherwise he wouldn’t be able to give up hwylryn at all. (or… … …) his heart had fought him by wearing the bracelet until the end. by leaving that ring even though he hadn’t meant to.
he had meant to leave nothing but memories. just memories and words. ]
You won’t let me become a memory?
[ rivulets of rain run from his hair to his mouth, which twists unhappily upwards. damp lashes blink droplets that trail into each other, becoming something sideways and undeserved. they fall past him. ]
… I don’t know how to fix this.
[ instead of ‘i don’t want to fix us.’ both true and untrue. it’s better to hate and love hwylryn than to be loved and unequal.
when he’d only ever wanted to be important as yoru, as important as yoru could be.
but he had watched hwylryn from afar as an earring. he had rolled around with the intent to find him, learning to awkwardly maneuver a new body that wasn’t his -
he knows it means something. it’s better to love and hate him, but he’d never hated him at all. only hated the hurt, the sinking surprise that hwylryn was a liar like his sister. hated that hwylryn hadn’t remembered that yoru came from violence and so he had no heart to start. that what he’d made into one was from words torn from the experiences of others, glued together by hwylryn’s teeth and tears into a paper mache mimic.
no wonder it shattered so easily. a couple short weeks, that’s it. ]
cw: implied!! suicidal ideation!!
he had meant to leave nothing but memories. just memories and words. ]
You won’t let me become a memory?
[ rivulets of rain run from his hair to his mouth, which twists unhappily upwards. damp lashes blink droplets that trail into each other, becoming something sideways and undeserved. they fall past him. ]
… I don’t know how to fix this.
[ instead of ‘i don’t want to fix us.’ both true and untrue. it’s better to hate and love hwylryn than to be loved and unequal.
when he’d only ever wanted to be important as yoru, as important as yoru could be.
but he had watched hwylryn from afar as an earring. he had rolled around with the intent to find him, learning to awkwardly maneuver a new body that wasn’t his -
he knows it means something. it’s better to love and hate him, but he’d never hated him at all. only hated the hurt, the sinking surprise that hwylryn was a liar like his sister. hated that hwylryn hadn’t remembered that yoru came from violence and so he had no heart to start. that what he’d made into one was from words torn from the experiences of others, glued together by hwylryn’s teeth and tears into a paper mache mimic.
no wonder it shattered so easily. a couple short weeks, that’s it. ]
Do you?