( As he listens, as Ish works through the kinks of his story, as he strokes Ish's hair, Hwylryn's lips are pursed, eyebrows furrowed, but quiet.
The cycle of reincarnation sounds faintly perverse to him, though he knows that's not the point of that story. He wonders if he could kill a reincarnation of Balthazar or Gwawlyn; and, in the same breath, he wonders if he could even accept them. What Ish has gone through now - changing in his matter, feeling more like Norna in the scope of his powers, if not his essence, as he does now - is what feels correct, to Hwylryn.
He thinks in quiet, for a brief time. )
... Balthazar was the same. ( He says, finally, softly. ) And... I suspected, Gwawlyn would be, too. It's why I never wished for them, even if it could be done.
( Could Ish resurrect the dead, so long as the dead were short of a goddess with a misplaced soul? It doesn't matter. It'd end the same, whether wizard or dragon; mortal or goddess.
Why wouldn't the dead simply return as they were?
His pursed lips twist into a sort of smile, bittersweet. Upset, yet understanding; heartbroken, yet likewise defiant.
Why didn't they want to return? Because the heartbreak is just too much. That's it. That's simple. There's no more reason why. Why does the mountain's river end in a lake? Why doesn't it go on a little longer? Why don't the currents push a little harder, and try to force further through?
It's just content where it is. Even if that means it dries out. )
... But you have her, still.
( He takes issue with only one thing Ish has said - that she has ceased to exist. )
She is not in the form that she was. She is not here to tell you good morning, or good night, or to go into town with. But she has passed on what she can give to you. I can feel you, and you are rich with her.
( And perhaps that is right, too. He had said already that there is no clear place within Ish's weave where Norna ends and Ish begins - and now it is true, once again. )
In my home, creatures of magic that die turn to beautiful, concentrated stone. If I die, I will turn to one, too. They're rich with the essence of what that creature was— their power; their magic; their memories.
There is nothing crueler than to leave a stone aside. ( In Northern tradition, anyway. ) There is nothing kinder than to take the dead into yourself, and carry them with you.
( He noses Ish, pressing a kiss to his head. )
You've rescued her essence from that sea of reincarnation. And you've taken her along with you. She cannot tell you good morning or good night, but she is still with you here now, as I hold you like this. She will be with you when you show me around Ecumene. And what exists of her in you can dream, and you will feel that she does in your heart, and in your magic.
( His eyes are a little wet (when aren't they, really), but he exhales soft, and warm. )
... At least, that's what I've come to know, and what I've come to believe. Even if it doesn't make up for their absence... it's not nothing. It's not gone.
( It's hard. It's different. But it's not gone. And in the finality of death, maybe - maybe - maybe that's all you can ask for. )
cw suicidal ideation obliquely
The cycle of reincarnation sounds faintly perverse to him, though he knows that's not the point of that story. He wonders if he could kill a reincarnation of Balthazar or Gwawlyn; and, in the same breath, he wonders if he could even accept them. What Ish has gone through now - changing in his matter, feeling more like Norna in the scope of his powers, if not his essence, as he does now - is what feels correct, to Hwylryn.
He thinks in quiet, for a brief time. )
... Balthazar was the same. ( He says, finally, softly. ) And... I suspected, Gwawlyn would be, too. It's why I never wished for them, even if it could be done.
( Could Ish resurrect the dead, so long as the dead were short of a goddess with a misplaced soul? It doesn't matter. It'd end the same, whether wizard or dragon; mortal or goddess.
Why wouldn't the dead simply return as they were?
His pursed lips twist into a sort of smile, bittersweet. Upset, yet understanding; heartbroken, yet likewise defiant.
Why didn't they want to return? Because the heartbreak is just too much. That's it. That's simple. There's no more reason why. Why does the mountain's river end in a lake? Why doesn't it go on a little longer? Why don't the currents push a little harder, and try to force further through?
It's just content where it is. Even if that means it dries out. )
... But you have her, still.
( He takes issue with only one thing Ish has said - that she has ceased to exist. )
She is not in the form that she was. She is not here to tell you good morning, or good night, or to go into town with. But she has passed on what she can give to you. I can feel you, and you are rich with her.
( And perhaps that is right, too. He had said already that there is no clear place within Ish's weave where Norna ends and Ish begins - and now it is true, once again. )
In my home, creatures of magic that die turn to beautiful, concentrated stone. If I die, I will turn to one, too. They're rich with the essence of what that creature was— their power; their magic; their memories.
There is nothing crueler than to leave a stone aside. ( In Northern tradition, anyway. ) There is nothing kinder than to take the dead into yourself, and carry them with you.
( He noses Ish, pressing a kiss to his head. )
You've rescued her essence from that sea of reincarnation. And you've taken her along with you. She cannot tell you good morning or good night, but she is still with you here now, as I hold you like this. She will be with you when you show me around Ecumene. And what exists of her in you can dream, and you will feel that she does in your heart, and in your magic.
( His eyes are a little wet (when aren't they, really), but he exhales soft, and warm. )
... At least, that's what I've come to know, and what I've come to believe. Even if it doesn't make up for their absence... it's not nothing. It's not gone.
( It's hard. It's different. But it's not gone. And in the finality of death, maybe - maybe - maybe that's all you can ask for. )