[ ayaka looks down at her hands, and watches them tremble for a few seconds in silence. what was A like?
…she never even bothered to learn her name, huh? or maybe that’s just another memory that’s under lock and key. ]
She was kind. She saved me, even though she should have probably let me die. [ maybe there’s another world where the solitude-loving A would have never opened that door; never have taken her in. ayaka can’t help but think that would have been for the best. ] She liked being alone… she preferred solitude over people.
[ maybe a little too much. her solitude was like poison, corroding her mind and body alike. with ayaka as a catalyst, it’s only natural that her mind would break down. ]
But she was in love, too… [ and ayaka grimaces at that, as if the memory of experience were painful for her— or is it perhaps from the parts of her that are A? the concept of love is nearly impossible for either side to reconcile— which immediately makes her wonder about her feelings for richard. what will happen then? is it even sustainable long term? ] That’s how I ended up having this face.
[ because the only way that A could accept her love for solitude and her love for someone else without a logic error was by simply becoming the girl she loved.
she shakes her head, rubbing her eyes to clear the tears that were forming. ]
cw suicide ideation
[ ayaka looks down at her hands, and watches them tremble for a few seconds in silence. what was A like?
…she never even bothered to learn her name, huh? or maybe that’s just another memory that’s under lock and key. ]
She was kind. She saved me, even though she should have probably let me die. [ maybe there’s another world where the solitude-loving A would have never opened that door; never have taken her in. ayaka can’t help but think that would have been for the best. ] She liked being alone… she preferred solitude over people.
[ maybe a little too much. her solitude was like poison, corroding her mind and body alike. with ayaka as a catalyst, it’s only natural that her mind would break down. ]
But she was in love, too… [ and ayaka grimaces at that, as if the memory of experience were painful for her— or is it perhaps from the parts of her that are A? the concept of love is nearly impossible for either side to reconcile— which immediately makes her wonder about her feelings for richard. what will happen then? is it even sustainable long term? ] That’s how I ended up having this face.
[ because the only way that A could accept her love for solitude and her love for someone else without a logic error was by simply becoming the girl she loved.
she shakes her head, rubbing her eyes to clear the tears that were forming. ]
I’m sorry, it’s all really complicated.