Mesdames et Messieurs, Voilà, C'est Vous

[lesmodsalouette]

Bievenue

You're wrapped in a soothing, all-encompassing darkness.

Well, perhaps not perfectly all-encompassing -- you can see some slivers of light here and there, just enough to realize that your current space is literally wrapped in something, and that you are a highly customized burrito at the mercy of an entirely too fluffy bed and set of blankets. Moreover: you are definitely not alone.

Depending upon the contents of your bed (two of you, waking up dressed exactly in what you wore last you remember back where each of you came from, in the exact same state as those last moments no matter how illogical or disjointed), it may not be comfortable or feasible to stay cocooned up for much longer. There's a low, muted GONG, GONGG coming from not far away, your bed creaks like a beleaguered ship in an unannounced storm, and it is joined by even more noises of movement beyond the bed canopy as you try to take stock of where you are.

Eventually, you either fall out of bed or drag yourself into this world: your new and strangely crowded personal rooms, the clock insistently sounding out the hour, and the halls and heraldry of the venerable Château Ambregris -- a lavishly decorated and fully furnished version of a more-or-less authentic French castle (assuming you know what France or a castle are).

Left to your own devices for the moment, you may find it helpful to explore the castle for your own purposes, check out the suspicious statues and personalized plaques in the Promenade of Reflexion, or perhaps to try to get to the bottom of the mysterious and frankly alarming amount of bread piled up in front of the place settings in the Banquet Hall. (Were you thinking of escaping? Any attempts to leave the property will be met with no forward progress at all, treadmill style). There's just about every kind of loaf, roll, boule, baguette, croissant or even animal-shaped bread you can think of stacked in baskets. There's absolutely nothing else save for plain bread, but at least you won't starve.

[OOC: Welcome to Château Ambregris, a perfectly normal castle receiving perfectly normal guests. Feel free to ask any questions in discord! The NPC Meet & Greet will be later today, March 8 at 6 PM EST/3 PM PST.]

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Comments

[antemeridian]

Hopefully we will not resort to anything that drastic this quickly.

[ like, maybe get some more answers first? maybe. Witch is hardly a reliable source but at current he is also their only source. ]

[thesharpestroy]

We have until we run out of animal bread at least. I wanna avoid having a full-on brawl for the last rabbit.

[She keeps her tone light, as it sinks in that she's talking to a kid. This one can't be much older than Shiv's niece. Seriously, what is going on here?]

[antemeridian]

... There are some fruiting trees in the orchard outside. If we don't burn or cut them down first maybe we'll have that much longer.

[ she is. trying to match tone? she is very much aware of their situation, given her talk with their Witch here, but also... ]

[thesharpestroy]

Oh. We make the tallest people pick fruit as enrichment.

Think they’ve got a blender? Nobody who lives in these castles actually wants to live like a French king. Not enough personal hygiene.

[antemeridian]

[ immediately looks over at the

elf??? urianger is somewhere in the crowd right. those are some very realistic looking prosthetic/prop ears if they aren't real... ]

Maybe if they are busy picking fruit they will be too busy to do anything else. [ like putting people's heads on sticks. enrichment. ] As for a blender ... I don't know?

[ pause. ... wait. that's a good point actually. ]

I don't think I've seen much technology or appliances at all, now that you mention it.

[thesharpestroy]

[Yeah, what IS with the elf ears? The vibes of this hostage scenario are so weird.]

If they don’t have a shower, I’m putting Witch’s head on a stick myself.

[antemeridian]

[ flatly: ] I would not blame you for it. I do wonder if there would be enough of him left for you to do that, though, when the others here get to him first.

[ they seem to have some ... aggressive sorts in the crowd. ]

[thesharpestroy]

Good point. I can work with scraps, though. I grew up with three older brothers.

[Shiv, you also grew up ridiculously rich.]

[antemeridian]

Ah. I am not familiar with that experience. But I will note that: having older siblings teaches resourcefulness.

[ or something like that. ]

[the_obedient_servant]

[A probably even younger kid pipes up.]

How are we to decide who we're eating first, though?

[thesharpestroy]

[Shiv scrunches her nose at that kind of comment from an actual Child. Is this what the kids joke about nowadays?]

Take a vote? I’m not leaving it to laws of the jungle. We’re civilized cannibals here.

[the_obedient_servant]

I'm going to rig the election through copious amounts of lobbying.

[thesharpestroy]

[That gets a genuine laugh out of Shiv.]

So what’s the angle? “Somebody think of the women and children, we’re the least expendable”? Appeal to the good will of the people?

[the_obedient_servant]

I think if I were to aggressively lobby this fair and free democratic process in a consistent way, it would be to make sure that the last ones to die would be the crusty old people who deserve it the most.

However, I am an outlier. I advocate for eating everyone all at once.

[thesharpestroy]

[Well! Got her there! That “eat everybody” comment does earn Chara a raised eyebrow.]

Didn’t your parents tell you what happens when you eat too many old people? You turn into one. You’re gonna be a tiny Benjamin Button.

[the_obedient_servant]

My parents are dead.

[thesharpestroy]

[Oh. Damn. You know what, that kind of tracks, honestly. Still, damn.]

Both of them, huh? How long ago?

[Despite the flicker of emotion in Shiv’s eyes, she asks it about as casually as she would Chara’s favorite color.]

[the_obedient_servant]

[They shrug, no less casual than they were in announcing it.]

A long time ago. [Not strictly true, but not strictly wrong either.]
Children tend to outlive their parents.

[thesharpestroy]

Yeah, that's...generally the goal.

Growing up with alive parents can suck too. You aren't missing out on vital maternal wisdom by having a dead mom, at least.

[the_obedient_servant]

Family is the instrument by which malice is passed onto new generations.

[Their tone is flat, like they're pointing out the color of the wallpaper.]

[thesharpestroy]

[Shiv lets out a little scoff, because like. How the hell else do you respond to that?]

Jesus. What do they make you read in school where you're from?

[the_obedient_servant]

You shouldn't look down on others just because they're younger than you.

[thesharpestroy]

Not looking down, just--I don't know, surprised. I wasn't exactly reciting nihilist philosophy when I was your age. You're like an old soul.

[Or they just have unrestricted internet access and TikTok really is poisoning the minds of the youth.]