Mesdames et Messieurs, Voilà, C'est Vous

[lesmodsalouette]

Bievenue

You're wrapped in a soothing, all-encompassing darkness.

Well, perhaps not perfectly all-encompassing -- you can see some slivers of light here and there, just enough to realize that your current space is literally wrapped in something, and that you are a highly customized burrito at the mercy of an entirely too fluffy bed and set of blankets. Moreover: you are definitely not alone.

Depending upon the contents of your bed (two of you, waking up dressed exactly in what you wore last you remember back where each of you came from, in the exact same state as those last moments no matter how illogical or disjointed), it may not be comfortable or feasible to stay cocooned up for much longer. There's a low, muted GONG, GONGG coming from not far away, your bed creaks like a beleaguered ship in an unannounced storm, and it is joined by even more noises of movement beyond the bed canopy as you try to take stock of where you are.

Eventually, you either fall out of bed or drag yourself into this world: your new and strangely crowded personal rooms, the clock insistently sounding out the hour, and the halls and heraldry of the venerable Château Ambregris -- a lavishly decorated and fully furnished version of a more-or-less authentic French castle (assuming you know what France or a castle are).

Left to your own devices for the moment, you may find it helpful to explore the castle for your own purposes, check out the suspicious statues and personalized plaques in the Promenade of Reflexion, or perhaps to try to get to the bottom of the mysterious and frankly alarming amount of bread piled up in front of the place settings in the Banquet Hall. (Were you thinking of escaping? Any attempts to leave the property will be met with no forward progress at all, treadmill style). There's just about every kind of loaf, roll, boule, baguette, croissant or even animal-shaped bread you can think of stacked in baskets. There's absolutely nothing else save for plain bread, but at least you won't starve.

[OOC: Welcome to Château Ambregris, a perfectly normal castle receiving perfectly normal guests. Feel free to ask any questions in discord! The NPC Meet & Greet will be later today, March 8 at 6 PM EST/3 PM PST.]

Locations Villa Main Nav

Comments

[thesharpestroy]

Yeah. Or whoever's idea this was. You don't give me the impression of having big enough balls to be a ringleader here.

[She just rolls her eyes at how he couldn't possibly take their money.]

Bullshit. I'll double whatever your cut is for the way out of here.

[calamitish]

Uhh, thank you!?!?

But I really don't need coin...

[thesharpestroy]

What is it that you need, then? And how can I get a word in with your boss?

[calamitish]

She's really busy, so you might need to wait a couple thousand years or so.

[ Long line. ]

Time, really. I used pretty much all of my magic for this spell, so I don't really have anything left.

[thesharpestroy]

Real fucking funny. [She says with no humor in her voice at all.]

Where're you getting this "magic" you need to kidnap people? Can I see it?

[Might as well play along for the sake of getting herself out of this weird-ass situation.]

[calamitish]

You want to see a spell?

[thesharpestroy]

Sure. Show me a magic trick.

[What's the worst that could happen--]

[calamitish]

...sure, but this is your freebie.

[ Holding out his free palm, and with a bright pop! Two white, iridescent crystal appears in his palm. ]

Actually I should make more of these... [ He mumbles something, but Shiv won't be able to make it out. There is now a small pile of crystals on the banquet table. ]

There you go. These'll let you talk to anyone here. Like a phone, except it doesn't have all of those annoying ads.

[thesharpestroy]

Hm. Seriously?

[Shiv takes the crystal from Witch and examines it, looking for some kind of evidence that this is actually extreme high tech and not actual magic. She talks to it like it's a cell phone.]

Hey crystal, send a message to Witch: "get a haircut, motherfucker."

[calamitish]

[ Alexa's voice chimes out clearly through the air-

Okay no, but she will hear her voice from his robes. It worked! ]

Really?

[ His hair isn't even long!!!! ]

[thesharpestroy]

Cute trick.

[She pockets the crystal for herself. While she sure doesn't fully buy that this is magic just yet, she doesn't see a use in arguing the point right now.

Also, she considers his hair long enough to not take him seriously. Serious men don't wear bobs.

(Damn Shiv, misandrist much?)]