Mesdames et Messieurs, Voilà, C'est Vous

[lesmodsalouette]

Bievenue

You're wrapped in a soothing, all-encompassing darkness.

Well, perhaps not perfectly all-encompassing -- you can see some slivers of light here and there, just enough to realize that your current space is literally wrapped in something, and that you are a highly customized burrito at the mercy of an entirely too fluffy bed and set of blankets. Moreover: you are definitely not alone.

Depending upon the contents of your bed (two of you, waking up dressed exactly in what you wore last you remember back where each of you came from, in the exact same state as those last moments no matter how illogical or disjointed), it may not be comfortable or feasible to stay cocooned up for much longer. There's a low, muted GONG, GONGG coming from not far away, your bed creaks like a beleaguered ship in an unannounced storm, and it is joined by even more noises of movement beyond the bed canopy as you try to take stock of where you are.

Eventually, you either fall out of bed or drag yourself into this world: your new and strangely crowded personal rooms, the clock insistently sounding out the hour, and the halls and heraldry of the venerable Château Ambregris -- a lavishly decorated and fully furnished version of a more-or-less authentic French castle (assuming you know what France or a castle are).

Left to your own devices for the moment, you may find it helpful to explore the castle for your own purposes, check out the suspicious statues and personalized plaques in the Promenade of Reflexion, or perhaps to try to get to the bottom of the mysterious and frankly alarming amount of bread piled up in front of the place settings in the Banquet Hall. (Were you thinking of escaping? Any attempts to leave the property will be met with no forward progress at all, treadmill style). There's just about every kind of loaf, roll, boule, baguette, croissant or even animal-shaped bread you can think of stacked in baskets. There's absolutely nothing else save for plain bread, but at least you won't starve.

[OOC: Welcome to Château Ambregris, a perfectly normal castle receiving perfectly normal guests. Feel free to ask any questions in discord! The NPC Meet & Greet will be later today, March 8 at 6 PM EST/3 PM PST.]

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Comments

[obtect]

[Caroline doesn't want to wake up. Caroline never wants to wake up. But this time, it's not propelled by dread or loathing, but by incredible comfort - she's not even bothered about being fully clothed.

Eventually, she realises she's not alone.

Kicking off the duvet, she recoils in the bed and surveys those around her. She's never had many friends, but there's not a single familiar face here.

There's certainly something smarter she can say here. But since she just woke up:]

What the fuck?

[With (presumably) no better idea of what she's doing here, Caroline sets off to exploring. She winds up in the banquet hall, and -]

Someone likes their carbs.

[Her red right hand hovers over the animal bread selection, before going for a piece of turtle bread. She pulls off its limbs one by one, eventually ending with the head.]

All this luxury, and they can't even spare us any butter. Why'd I bother growing my tastebuds back?

banquet hall

[simulacres]

Growing your...tastebuds?

[ ayaka tilts her head, her own hands fiddling with a bread. ]

You didn't have them?

[obtect]

I did. Back when I was...

[Well. Look at her.]

Not this.

[She lets the implication fill the gap.]

It's weird, my sense of smell was just fine - but I couldn't taste a thing. Took ages to grow them back, and it wasn't easy either.

[simulacres]

[ the more she looks at her, the more ayaka understands the situation. in a way, this stranger reminds her of that humanoid thing that she saw floating in the sky...and the memory itself is enough to make her want to stop remembering anything. ]

Sounds like a pain.

[ she sighs. ]

It would be nice if we had something to eat these though. Jam or butter...I'm sure there's other things too.

[obtect]

There's a whole world of condiments out there.

[Said without much enthusiasm.]

The possibilities are endless. We could've had marshmallow fluff.

[simulacres]

Marshmallow on bread?

[ wait...

somehow, this piques ayaka's interest. turns out the best thing to do when faced with the impending anxiety attack from the confusion of everything is to...have a conversation about bread toppings. ]

Is it... like... frosting? [ has she ever had frosting? ] It might go well with chocolate, too... probably.

banquet

[the_obedient_servant]

They might be fattening us up.

[A child, characterized only by their green and yellow sweater and a mop of brown hair that they used to keep neat, stabs a teddy bear shaped piece of bread with their knife and lifting it up to examine it.]

You know, to eat us.

[obtect]

On bread? I guess that's one way to do it.

[She watches this child stab the bread. Is this...what kids do? She's so out of touch.

She guesses she can't judge, though.]

Have you checked if there's any absurdly large pots in the kitchen?

[the_obedient_servant]

If they wanted to eat us, they'd almost certainly take the time to butcher us into more adequate servings. Boiling an entire animal - human or not - sounds like the work of a lunatic.

[All with the tone of someone commenting on the weather.

They bite the head of the bear off. They'd forgotten what it tasted like. It's a dull feeling, but it is a feeling.]

[obtect]

[Huh. So it's really not the byproduct of watching too many cartoons.]

And kidnapping a bunch of people is completely sane?

[the_obedient_servant]

I don't remember being kidnapped. Do you?

[smdr]

[ hmmmm. huuuuuh. hooooh.

there's a little pause and a little lingering over both caroline and caroline's statement, before jinx goes back to playing with her own bread animal, a bear, making the little guy fly circles in the air in her hands. ]

Well, you know, can't spell posh without "let them eat bread!"

[ with the stereotypical fancy accent, taking her bear in both hands as a puppet and wiggling him as if it's the one speaking before she tears its head off and stuffs it into her mouth. jinx is gonna keep on going with her mouth full of the rich: ]

Gonna ungrow 'em?

[obtect]

[You know what? She likes her style. The complete disregard for how anyone is perceiving her. She digs it.]

Hell no. Growing them took way too much effort in the first place, and I don’t want to go back to everything tasting like dirt.

[She chews on the poor turtle’s head.]

You’d think a place this fancy could spare some expense in giving us more than just bread, though.

[smdr]

[ chew, chew, chew. so dirt is the no-tastebud-taste? interestttingg. not that jinx is gonna be doing any experiments on that one soon. ]

Meh. [ expected, really. ] Didn't get this rich giving a bunch of random people they yoinked off the street good grub, that's for sure.

[ among other things, but jinx is over her burn down capitalism phase. ]

How's the one you're snacking on? I'm putting it above Claw-Buns, but below Bearly Bread.

[ with a little gesture to them as she speaks, the crab and bear respectively. ]

[obtect]

[She seems to consider it, holding the turtle between thumb and forefinger, and squeezing down as she eyes it up.]

I have the sneaking suspicion that they all taste pretty much the same.

[It's all just bread in the end, innit?]

But, I don't know. He's pretty cute, I guess. Not bear-cute, but definitely more than crab-cute.

banquet hall

[diel]

[ tbh yoru thinks this tastes fine without butter... he's standing by himself munching on a bear when he first hears her comment, then takes in her unique appearance. could she be...? ]

Are... are you new to the family?

[obtect]

[That’s a question that suggests he might know something about what’s going on.]

What family?

[diel]

[ well, that answers his question. he droops in disappointment. ]

Nothing. No family. Um, never mind.

[obtect]

[She raises an eyebrow.]

Shame. For a second there I almost thought you knew what was going on.

[diel]

Aren’t we on the same page, then? Does an almost thought even count…

banquet hall

[fourtuity]

[ Hello??? How is she supposed to respond to that? ]

Huh? Well, I dunno? I guess it's a sad day to have taste buds and no butter.

[obtect]

[Normal things.]

Even worse day to be gluten intolerant. I think, a national tragedy on this scale, we’re looking at a new public holiday in five to ten years.

[fourtuity]

[ Oh, that part she can nod in understanding. ]

Damn, yeah that super sucks. Wouldn't wanna be around this much bread then. Absolutely tragic.

[obtect]

It'd just be insult to injury. Can't eat bread, and you're surrounded by it. It'd be better if there wasn't anything at all.

[fourtuity]

That sounds like something out of a nightmare.