TRIAL IV

[lesmodsalouette]

Trial

Another Saturday, but this Saturday is your last Saturday. If everything holds, if everything works out. After all you've been through, are you capable of being an optimist? The carnival calls regardless, furniture arranged around as they always are with banquet table and pit in the middle.

This week's new offerings are: a fluffy loaf of a certain type of rye bread, a hearty beef stew and an assortment of fresh pies with candied fruit and cream.

For the last time, find out who killed two of your own: G'raha Tia and Sariel.

(( OOC: Welcome to your first trial! You'll have 7 hours (until 8 PM EDT/5 PM PDT) to vote one (1) person guilty of murder. As this is scapegoat style, a correct vote is not necessary. Please remember to vote unless otherwise discussed with the mods, as that is our AC for this game ))

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[littlegentleman]

[Hearing Lili's voice makes him flinch. Even without anger...no, perhaps it's the absence of anger that makes it cut through him sharper than any knife could have. In that instant, with her down on the ground with him, he can't help feeling as though he'd have preferred it if Vanis' blade had struck true. Lili, who knew so much about him, who had offered him even more...and he'd still chosen this. Had chosen her pain and her disappointment. He had gone through with everything, expecting hatred and more...but expecting it hadn't made him prepared for how hollowed out he'd feel.

He nods as he takes one shaken breath after another, but he's too afraid to lift his eyes to meet her face. She deserves it, he knows, but he was too small and too weak.]

[safetycheck]

[ She'll give him the moment, and she knows he took it because he needed to get away from people...so the moment is considerably long. In that moment, she mulls her decisions over in her head. What would Yona have said, here? This was all so unnecessary, so needless in the end. A murder didn't need to occur this week, and yet, here we are. She would have been deeply disappointed, Lili is sure...

...Oh, Yona. They are both sinners in the end. The sheltered, innocent General's daughter is dead, and she feels like despite everything, despite how hollow she feels, perhaps a phoenix has still risen from its corpse regardless. It happened with Yona – she had become so strong, so caring and kind despite the tragedy that befell her. The betrayal, which probably hurt her so much more than anything here could have hurt Lili.

Knowing that, she makes her choice and speaks up after a long silence. ]

You told me you could hurt people who hurt me, but you pulled the trigger on my dear friend, Junior.

[ And there is truly only so much sympathy she can give, now. If Junior was smart enough to know how to operate a gun, if he's this stressed and torn up over getting caught, he should have been aware of the gravity of his choices. What was it that Homura said about Shiv, Ayaka and Richard? If he couldn't live with this choice, he shouldn't have made it to begin with. ]

But I'm in no position to tell you, or anyone really, what's right or wrong. I don't know what those words mean anymore.

[ But these words, the ones she's speaking now, are only for Junior to hear. ]

You're aware of the situation I came home from. There is plenty of crime and people who will quite possibly try to manipulate you in the way others have here. [ A beat. ] But...there is a girl who is working to purge the kingdom of its impurities. It's an endeavor greater than me and I can only hope to do my part in helping her in her quest.

Would you still like to come home with me, Junior? And if you do...would you hurt her, if someone told you to?

[littlegentleman]

[He was willing to take anything she had to say to him--any range of scorn and abuse. But after that long, miserable silence, when the words finally came...even being terrified of what devastation he'd find in her good eye, his gaze snaps up to meet her. Once again, he doesn't know what to say.

His vision blurs as, for the first time in his short life, tears begin to spill out over his lashes.]

I don't understand. How could you even ask me that, after what I did? I don't deserve your kindness.

[Her trust, her friendship, her love. He'd betrayed it all to embrace the thing she promised him he'd never have to be again. No amount of apologizing would make up for it, not ever. For now, he's too shocked to answer the second question.]

[safetycheck]

Please answer my question first.

[ Her voice is the same. Leveled and tired.

But, since Junior is looking at her, he can probably see her eyes shimmering, too, just like his. Unlike him, though...she is trying not to let any tears spill. ]

[littlegentleman]

[An answer...an answer to her question. He has to search himself, because for as simple of a thing as it is to him, it still isn't good enough and he knows it. Wishes he could say more than the basic truth...but unlike Hwylryn, he didn't have elaborate justifications for his feelings.]

Not someone. Just you.

[For An Lili, he would do anything, no matter how terrible. That really was the truth. The only reason he had hurt her was because the same thing was true for Hwylryn. Anything, no matter what, no questions asked.]

[safetycheck]

...I understand.

[ And that's all it really boils down to, at the end of the day...that Junior is loyal to those he cares about, even if those loyalties come into conflict in ways she really, really wishes didn't exist. But she knows that there is no moral high ground to stand on here, and all of this – everything that's happened here – just feels so utterly pointless.

But meeting (most of) Primrose was not pointless. Meeting Blade and Ayaka and G'raha was not pointless. Meeting Junior has meaning, she feels, and if he is loyal to her and can stay that way without the influence of other people here, perhaps Kouka still has room for him.

At least it's only her who was brought here from her world. At least she can keep her offer open, because despite her feelings, she would not be able to sleep at night if she closed her offer and others like Hickey and Hwylryn gave him the same thing, where they could use him and hurt him over and over again. At the end of the day, Junior still has a heart, even if others may not agree. ]

It's not about deserving anything. I just hate seeing people use you like this, despite everything, because I don't think you're a monster. We've all done deplorable things while we've been here.

[ ... ]

There will be plenty of cruelty and hardship, but there is also kindness and warmth to be found in Kouka. So if you will not hurt Yona, my bodyguards, her friends, his Majesty, then I will keep the offer open.

[littlegentleman]

[As Lili spoke, presenting him with an opportunity that he in no way expected to receive from her after everything, he couldn't help but think of something Clover had said during curfew.

Whenever you make a choice, you generally lose out on the other options.

This was one of those times. Once again, in a matter of so many days, he was being asked to make a choice. Neither felt right, or easy, and he knew what whichever one he went with, the other door would be closed to him forever. Maybe to others here, maybe from the outside looking in, it was an easy decision to make. Between two kind people, only one of them had used him.

But he was just a boy. A hurt child who hurt others.]

I couldn't bear it if I hurt you again.

[And he just didn't know if he never would, because as much as he didn't want to, he simply didn't trust himself.]

[safetycheck]

I've laid out the terms in which you could.

[ She says this like he doesn't understand why this hurt her, but it's more because she hasn't laid out the depth of her feelings to him. She's holding back. She needs to keep the peace. ]

And...this series of murders was truly unnecessary. I didn't help through my actions in trial today, but if this happens again – I will not hold back.

[ And that is the one thing Lili needs to make that clear. She is not free of blame here because she did not vote for him, and after spending weeks feeling like Junior needs to be protected because he is just a child, any sort of protective instinct she's held towards him is mostly (mostly) gone, now.

It was a mistake and a failure on her part. One that she'll have to live with. How can she face G'raha again?

She can't. She won't.

She'll wait for Junior to make his choice and leave. And thinking about that, thinking about all the bitterness she's carrying with her when there are so many people here she cares about so deeply who wouldn't want that for her...

... ]

That's...all I have to say. I need to – I need to go, now.

[ She won't cry in front of Junior.

But she will, perhaps, cry in front of Clover instead.

And with that, she gets up and walks away. ]